I have hives. I have diagnosed myself with "hives" thanks to some help from my doctor, The Internet. I would take a picture of it, but I don't want to show how gross I am.
October 5, 2009
NOT BEES
I have hives. I have diagnosed myself with "hives" thanks to some help from my doctor, The Internet. I would take a picture of it, but I don't want to show how gross I am.
September 6, 2009
SAUSAGE HANDS
I was playing soccer with my pals. We play a game were we take free kicks, and the person to get the most before having 3 blocked or miss wins. I scored 2, then Matt scored 4 or 5. It was Logan's turn. I stood behind the goal to protect the balls from traffic should the ball get kicked with enough weight. I was cheering for Matthew to save me from last place. I did my best to cheer him on, but after Logan's second or third goal I hit the ground with disappointment. It turns out that when you slap a bee it will sting you instantly. I was stung.
I haven't been stung by a bee for a while. I was planning on going through the rest of my life never to be stung again. Fail. Now as you can see in the photos below after 1 full day, my hand is swollen to some degree. You may also notice that the area closest to the point of the sting is white, as is the back side of my hand between my ring and middle finger. My hand is very itchy and i woke up scratching it a few times last night.
I am never going outside again.
I haven't been stung by a bee for a while. I was planning on going through the rest of my life never to be stung again. Fail. Now as you can see in the photos below after 1 full day, my hand is swollen to some degree. You may also notice that the area closest to the point of the sting is white, as is the back side of my hand between my ring and middle finger. My hand is very itchy and i woke up scratching it a few times last night.
I am never going outside again.
August 31, 2009
MEANINGLESS?
I need to rant a bit about electronics ruining my life. I say ruining my life in such a way that you should not take too seriously. However, I am absolutely serious about this:
As a young man I played video games extensively. Many games were designed to be difficult, some too difficult (i.e. Earthworm Jim, Contra). I have no problem with games that were difficult, in fact I welcome them. I enjoyed the puzzles and other difficulties that arose, however, I did not appreciate the game designers making games with the ability to cheat. Some games would make it impossible to win. NBA JAM CHEATS!
I have never played a game that cheated more so than NBA Jam: Tournament Edition. There were many nights ending in demolished win streaks thanks to that game. Many will recall my "moratorium" from life. My gaming flourished during that period of my life. I played NBA Jam with my former roommate Denny for hours and hours late at night. I would play against him, and he would win every time. Eventually, fatigued from the same result night after night, game after game we decided that we would try to play the computerized players. We would get a streak of 20 or more games going, and then the cheating would begin. (I would like to note that we would not play all these games in one sitting. If you know the inner workings of a Super Nintendo you will know that they would award codes to continue progress, in a way it would save your game progress) Eventually we would get far ahead in the game, and the simulated players would become impossibly good. They would be able to steal the ball and make a basket in one second. This will be more impressive to those of you that have played. My argument: The game would cheat to ruin our winning streak.
You tell me how the players can steal the ball instantly from the guy in the red "trunks".
Now, I know what you are thinking. Surely there is not a possibility that another style of game could do the same thing. This is where I say, "You are incorrect. There is such a game". YAHTZEE®, you got it, it is battleship.
Psych, it is actually electronic Yahtzee. This is what I have observed in the hundreds, or more probably, thousands of games I have played. It is impossible to get a yahtzee on the first roll. I realize that the odds of rolling 5 dice on the same number is fairly low, however I would expect the occasional first roll yahtzee would be in order. I have also noticed that I have rolled hundreds of first roll "large straights". I understand that the odds of doing this is better but I have a hard time believing that the amount that I have rolled is within the odds. My argument: Yahtzee is cheating just like its old pal NBA Jam.
As a young man I played video games extensively. Many games were designed to be difficult, some too difficult (i.e. Earthworm Jim, Contra). I have no problem with games that were difficult, in fact I welcome them. I enjoyed the puzzles and other difficulties that arose, however, I did not appreciate the game designers making games with the ability to cheat. Some games would make it impossible to win. NBA JAM CHEATS!
I have never played a game that cheated more so than NBA Jam: Tournament Edition. There were many nights ending in demolished win streaks thanks to that game. Many will recall my "moratorium" from life. My gaming flourished during that period of my life. I played NBA Jam with my former roommate Denny for hours and hours late at night. I would play against him, and he would win every time. Eventually, fatigued from the same result night after night, game after game we decided that we would try to play the computerized players. We would get a streak of 20 or more games going, and then the cheating would begin. (I would like to note that we would not play all these games in one sitting. If you know the inner workings of a Super Nintendo you will know that they would award codes to continue progress, in a way it would save your game progress) Eventually we would get far ahead in the game, and the simulated players would become impossibly good. They would be able to steal the ball and make a basket in one second. This will be more impressive to those of you that have played. My argument: The game would cheat to ruin our winning streak.
You tell me how the players can steal the ball instantly from the guy in the red "trunks".
Psych, it is actually electronic Yahtzee. This is what I have observed in the hundreds, or more probably, thousands of games I have played. It is impossible to get a yahtzee on the first roll. I realize that the odds of rolling 5 dice on the same number is fairly low, however I would expect the occasional first roll yahtzee would be in order. I have also noticed that I have rolled hundreds of first roll "large straights". I understand that the odds of doing this is better but I have a hard time believing that the amount that I have rolled is within the odds. My argument: Yahtzee is cheating just like its old pal NBA Jam.
August 23, 2009
PICTURE OUT OF PICUTRE
Recently at my home, my roommate bought a new television. This television is a major step up from our old tv, but it has one problem. The new television doesn't have a DVD player built in like the older model. The solution to our problem? Hook the new tv up to our "DVD player" (aka. our old tv) and watch the DVD on the new tv. The problem with this is that the DVD cannot be played without the tv showing it. It must look strange to people that visit for our living room to have two televisions, but we think it is awesome to have a movie playing on 2 screens at once. I have never been a fan of the picture in picture feature on televisions, so I am thrilled that we can now do picture out of picture.
August 20, 2009
CONFUSION
I was hanging out downtown tonight at the Gallivan Center Plaza. There are [no charge] concerts that they do every Thursday night, and "Iron & Wine" was playing, and since I kinda like the music and am pretty strapped for cash I thought it would be some good entertainment for no money. It was okay.
Now, I will get to my point. Taking TRAX is an ideal way to get places in my opinion, especially when parking your car costs money, or there are going to be many people leaving at the same time you want to. Therefore, I chose to take TRAX to the Gallivan Plaza. I have noticed many unusual things on the train, to say the least. Tonight I was sitting on a bench near my friend Chelsea. I was reading the restriction signs aloud (i.e. no skating, no riding bikes) when she pointed out that one of them was completely confusing.
Below this sign it says, "Stay off the tracks and use sidewalks". I would argue that the picture doesn't say that though. To me it says walk in front of the train.... I guess you should be the judge.
Now, I will get to my point. Taking TRAX is an ideal way to get places in my opinion, especially when parking your car costs money, or there are going to be many people leaving at the same time you want to. Therefore, I chose to take TRAX to the Gallivan Plaza. I have noticed many unusual things on the train, to say the least. Tonight I was sitting on a bench near my friend Chelsea. I was reading the restriction signs aloud (i.e. no skating, no riding bikes) when she pointed out that one of them was completely confusing.
Below this sign it says, "Stay off the tracks and use sidewalks". I would argue that the picture doesn't say that though. To me it says walk in front of the train.... I guess you should be the judge.
August 18, 2009
OFF TO COLLEGE
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Off to College
My little Robbie (that is me) has left for college. What a sad day at the Carlson house. We were glad that he got to stay with us for a couple of weeks. He was a very good guest. He helped around the house and always cleaned up after himself. We all miss him and he is welcome back anytime.
Heather, I want this to count for me too.
DRUGS OR EXHAUSTION
Last night I was driving my car home, to Salt Lake City when all of a sudden it started to get sick. I was about 6 blocks away and every single warning light on my car lit up. I had all of a sudden applied my parking break, worn out my breaks, and had a few other problems all without knowledge I was doing anything. Needless to say, when all my warnings came on I was a bit concerned about my little car. I was only six blocks away, so I watched my temperature and drove cautiously listening to the car. The temperature was rising pretty quick. If I would have had to go much farther it wouldn't have made it. I pulled to my house and got out. I looked at the road behind my car, and it had a streak of wetness from where I had driven. I then thought it was a bigger problem than I had thought. I looked under the hood, and couldn't see anything. I walked around to the passenger side and what did my eyes behold? They beheld car vomit.
It turns out that if you make your car do over 9 marathons in a row it gets sick. It threw up all over the road and in the gutter. I would have thought that it was just sick, but the fact that it had waited to get to the gutter to pass out and vomit all over made me suspect that it was a drug addict. It is stereotypical for drug addicts to be in the gutter. I am a firm believer that stereotypes came from somewhere, and although are not always correct, they are often correct.
What issue does my car have? (one point) (this is your chance jace)
It turns out that if you make your car do over 9 marathons in a row it gets sick. It threw up all over the road and in the gutter. I would have thought that it was just sick, but the fact that it had waited to get to the gutter to pass out and vomit all over made me suspect that it was a drug addict. It is stereotypical for drug addicts to be in the gutter. I am a firm believer that stereotypes came from somewhere, and although are not always correct, they are often correct.
What issue does my car have? (one point) (this is your chance jace)
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