OUTER SPACE

I think adding links is cool. I have just realized how much they can help, or assist us when we need more information. Technology is cool. We can send messages to other planets via radio waves that tell how we, here on planet Earth, are nice.

WELCOME TO THOSE THAT ARE JUST JOINING US

I have been thinking a great deal about how school is not making my life happy. I have come to a conclusion that I feel is brilliant. Here it is: School has an inverse relationship with my happiness. I really am hoping that my conclusion is only correct in the short run. Ideally I would like to have my happiness be directly correlated from school (at least in part).

I can't put my finger directly on the reason for this semester being the worst one yet, or how I can be so sure that the next will be even more vexing than ever. Just this previous week I was so incredibly downtrodden about my situation that I nearly lied on the grass for hours instead of going to class. I have digressed.

Back to the point. Many of you that religiously read this blog have been the unfortunate soles to hear me gripe about how I have not been learning anything that I believe will be applicable to real life, however, I will prove that I have indeed learned things that are probably not likely to be applicable.

I know about the law of diminishing returns. It is a sad law indeed. As I take more classes I will receive less knowledge. I will essentially be spending a great deal of time and money in my final semester on few new concepts. This being the case, I will value these few new concepts more than any of the prior that I have locked in the time lock safe at my knowledge bank.

In conclusion I will just say that I don't care for school. I have thought on the margin and believe that it would be beneficial to continue school. I know what you are all thinking right now.... "But you are forgetting that your schooling so far is a sunk cost now." What you are thinking is correct, and you are quite brilliant for bringing up said argument. I commend you on this. But you are wrong. I did think about that. WRONG.

TIME MACHINE

I want a time machine so that I can time machine myself out of school. The only problem with the time machine is that I need to learn the things I am learning in school for a job. If I use a time machine I would skip over the knowledge that I need. Is there a way to go on autopilot and not notice the other part of life other than going to school?

SQUISHY ANKLE

I have been having a hard time with my car, and I have been actively using public transportation in an attempt to avoid making the problems with my car get worse. I have come to some interesting conclusions about public transportation.

1. I think riding the bus is a pretty good time. People are really funny on the bus, and it has given me an appreciation for ice cream. People that have to take the bus home from the store must have a very difficult time getting ice cream to their home without it melting.

2. Trains are nicer than buses. I rode "Frontrunner" yesterday, as well as TRAX. I wish there were many more TRAX lines around the city. It would be awesome to be able to take trains all over rather than a bus.

3. If you have to take the bus, make sure that you have hours of extra free time that is available for consumption by waiting for buses. I went to the university with Matthew on Friday evening. We have a bus stop that is a block away from our house that has a stop a block away from a TRAX station. We had no idea that it would take 2 hours for us to go turn in a paper and get a book at the library. I would estimate that the same trip in a car would take less than 45 minutes easily.

4. Riding the bus makes for a good time to think about life.

5. The best seats are the ones on Frontrunner and the worst are on TRAX.

TATTOO

It isn't a real tattoo.

3 WEEK CHAMPION

I finally found what I can do well. I have been playing this game for a while now, and I have been the catalyst for a few addictions. I have found myself playing for an hour without realizing it. It is so simple to play a bunch of games in a row since the time you play is only 1 minute. I will award 30 points to anyone that beats my high score of 437,300. Good luck to everyone.

I AM THE HARE....

I realized today as I sit at my computer looking around my room that I am "The Hare". I have been notified of a midterm now for about a month in a class that I am in. It is going to be a fairly difficult exam as is generally the case for midterms. I have been sleeping both literally and figuratively. These are some examples of what I have done to avoid studying for my exam.

1. Sleeping
-I have come home often after class and been tired. I tell myself while at school I will just hop on the train and go home and study until work, but when I get home I have an overwhelming feeling of fatigue that overpowers my weak desire to study. I give in with ease and watch TV until I fall asleep. I usually nap for an hour or so, but that hour destroys all motivation for studying.

2. Reading
-I will start to study or read my text book, and think about how much better it would be to read something more entertaining than the pure knowledge rambling in the text books. About a month ago I subscribed to AP magazine. This is a magazine about the bands I love going ons. It isn't very entertaining to read every article, but it is much better than trying to understand the things that are over my head in the text books. I have even read novels rather than reading my text books.

3. Television
-This one is easy to explain. I have the ability to record TV shows and watch them at my convenience . DVR ruins motivation to do something that isn't fun.

I have been wasting much of the last month with non study activities, but as the hare I believe I cannot lose. I will do a super sprint to the end at the last moment. I will win just like the hare wins.........

NOT BEES

I have hives. I have diagnosed myself with "hives" thanks to some help from my doctor, The Internet. I would take a picture of it, but I don't want to show how gross I am.

SAUSAGE HANDS

I was playing soccer with my pals. We play a game were we take free kicks, and the person to get the most before having 3 blocked or miss wins. I scored 2, then Matt scored 4 or 5. It was Logan's turn. I stood behind the goal to protect the balls from traffic should the ball get kicked with enough weight. I was cheering for Matthew to save me from last place. I did my best to cheer him on, but after Logan's second or third goal I hit the ground with disappointment. It turns out that when you slap a bee it will sting you instantly. I was stung.

I haven't been stung by a bee for a while. I was planning on going through the rest of my life never to be stung again. Fail. Now as you can see in the photos below after 1 full day, my hand is swollen to some degree. You may also notice that the area closest to the point of the sting is white, as is the back side of my hand between my ring and middle finger. My hand is very itchy and i woke up scratching it a few times last night.

I am never going outside again.

MEANINGLESS?

I need to rant a bit about electronics ruining my life. I say ruining my life in such a way that you should not take too seriously. However, I am absolutely serious about this:

As a young man I played video games extensively. Many games were designed to be difficult, some too difficult (i.e. Earthworm Jim, Contra). I have no problem with games that were difficult, in fact I welcome them. I enjoyed the puzzles and other difficulties that arose, however, I did not appreciate the game designers making games with the ability to cheat. Some games would make it impossible to win. NBA JAM CHEATS!

I have never played a game that cheated more so than NBA Jam: Tournament Edition. There were many nights ending in demolished win streaks thanks to that game. Many will recall my "moratorium" from life. My gaming flourished during that period of my life. I played NBA Jam with my former roommate Denny for hours and hours late at night. I would play against him, and he would win every time. Eventually, fatigued from the same result night after night, game after game we decided that we would try to play the computerized players. We would get a streak of 20 or more games going, and then the cheating would begin. (I would like to note that we would not play all these games in one sitting. If you know the inner workings of a Super Nintendo you will know that they would award codes to continue progress, in a way it would save your game progress) Eventually we would get far ahead in the game, and the simulated players would become impossibly good. They would be able to steal the ball and make a basket in one second. This will be more impressive to those of you that have played. My argument: The game would cheat to ruin our winning streak.

You tell me how the players can steal the ball instantly from the guy in the red "trunks".

Now, I know what you are thinking. Surely there is not a possibility that another style of game could do the same thing. This is where I say, "You are incorrect. There is such a game". YAHTZEE®, you got it, it is battleship.

Psych, it is actually electronic Yahtzee. This is what I have observed in the hundreds, or more probably, thousands of games I have played. It is impossible to get a yahtzee on the first roll. I realize that the odds of rolling 5 dice on the same number is fairly low, however I would expect the occasional first roll yahtzee would be in order. I have also noticed that I have rolled hundreds of first roll "large straights". I understand that the odds of doing this is better but I have a hard time believing that the amount that I have rolled is within the odds. My argument: Yahtzee is cheating just like its old pal NBA Jam.

PICTURE OUT OF PICUTRE

Recently at my home, my roommate bought a new television. This television is a major step up from our old tv, but it has one problem. The new television doesn't have a DVD player built in like the older model. The solution to our problem? Hook the new tv up to our "DVD player" (aka. our old tv) and watch the DVD on the new tv. The problem with this is that the DVD cannot be played without the tv showing it. It must look strange to people that visit for our living room to have two televisions, but we think it is awesome to have a movie playing on 2 screens at once. I have never been a fan of the picture in picture feature on televisions, so I am thrilled that we can now do picture out of picture.

CONFUSION

I was hanging out downtown tonight at the Gallivan Center Plaza. There are [no charge] concerts that they do every Thursday night, and "Iron & Wine" was playing, and since I kinda like the music and am pretty strapped for cash I thought it would be some good entertainment for no money. It was okay.

Now, I will get to my point. Taking TRAX is an ideal way to get places in my opinion, especially when parking your car costs money, or there are going to be many people leaving at the same time you want to. Therefore, I chose to take TRAX to the Gallivan Plaza. I have noticed many unusual things on the train, to say the least. Tonight I was sitting on a bench near my friend Chelsea. I was reading the restriction signs aloud (i.e. no skating, no riding bikes) when she pointed out that one of them was completely confusing.
Below this sign it says, "Stay off the tracks and use sidewalks". I would argue that the picture doesn't say that though. To me it says walk in front of the train.... I guess you should be the judge.

OFF TO COLLEGE

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Off to College

My little Robbie (that is me) has left for college. What a sad day at the Carlson house. We were glad that he got to stay with us for a couple of weeks. He was a very good guest. He helped around the house and always cleaned up after himself. We all miss him and he is welcome back anytime.

Posted by Aimee at 11:38 AM 2 comments

Heather, I want this to count for me too.

DRUGS OR EXHAUSTION

Last night I was driving my car home, to Salt Lake City when all of a sudden it started to get sick. I was about 6 blocks away and every single warning light on my car lit up. I had all of a sudden applied my parking break, worn out my breaks, and had a few other problems all without knowledge I was doing anything. Needless to say, when all my warnings came on I was a bit concerned about my little car. I was only six blocks away, so I watched my temperature and drove cautiously listening to the car. The temperature was rising pretty quick. If I would have had to go much farther it wouldn't have made it. I pulled to my house and got out. I looked at the road behind my car, and it had a streak of wetness from where I had driven. I then thought it was a bigger problem than I had thought. I looked under the hood, and couldn't see anything. I walked around to the passenger side and what did my eyes behold? They beheld car vomit.

It turns out that if you make your car do over 9 marathons in a row it gets sick. It threw up all over the road and in the gutter. I would have thought that it was just sick, but the fact that it had waited to get to the gutter to pass out and vomit all over made me suspect that it was a drug addict. It is stereotypical for drug addicts to be in the gutter. I am a firm believer that stereotypes came from somewhere, and although are not always correct, they are often correct.

What issue does my car have? (one point) (this is your chance jace)

DAH DAH DAAAA

I had a bad alternator. I pulled out the bad one and put a good one into my car. When I was told that I would be the one putting the new part in, I thought that it would be a great deal harder than it turned out being. It was not as easy as it could have been though.

Here is a before picture.

Before

After

After

As you can see from the photos, there is a huge difference before and after.

WAR PED

I have never enjoyed going to Van's Warped Tour more than I did in 2009. It is always interesting to see the various people of all walks of life.

There are many versions of folks there that are aimlessly walking around. I think that the funniest kids are the ones that do "hardcore dancing". It is hard to not laugh at them as they are doing this style of dance. I don't like it, but I certainly respect it. On many occasions I have been in an area where this is going on, and I get scared for my face. I have witnessed more than 5 people getting stitched up after this, and countless people with bloody eyes, noses and mouths.

I can get down with the "circle pit" but I can't get myself to go into a pit with hardcore dancing. While at Warped Tour I will occasionally go into the circle pit. While I was watching a band with some hardcore dancing going on I had an overwhelming desire to jump into the pit. When one goes into the circle pit the idea is to rough up some peers a bit by pushing or elbowing them a bit. My experience was a bit different. I was just pushing people around, minding my own business, when a kid behind me for some reason or another developed a pique towards me. For some reason he was specifically targeting only me, and pushed me about 5 times, until he successfully knocked me off my feet. There is an interesting relationship with your peers in a pit. You try to hurt them, and rough them up a bit, but once you actually do it is a different story. Back to when I got pushed down..... I was pushed into the wall of people, and was tripped up somehow. It was a bit of a domino effect, and the person behind me ran into me and pushed me to the point beyond recovery, and I was forced face down onto the asphalt. The person that was directly behind me stomped on my ankle and twisted my shoe off. Before I could comprehend the events that happened to me just moments before, I was already being lifted up by every person that could reach. The friends that were out of reach were pushing people out of my way so that I could recover my shoe that had vanished so quickly from it's matching foot. I took the pushing down and the loss of my shoe as a warning from the pit ogre that was pushing me and bailed on it.

Being in a pit was somewhat reminiscent of fake punching towards a friend's face. Buddy, you will remember this, and will be able to more clearly understand this. The story as I remember it was I was punching close to Buddy's face, and got one a bit too close, and actually landed a punch right on his beak. I was not trying to hurt him, but once I did I felt bad and instantly tried to give him some comfort. This is exactly what happened to me at Warped Tour. EXACTLY.


I also got some cool merch from my trip.

RESEARCH

I am afraid that I have a problem. If I scratch my stomach it leaves a red mark for about 20 minutes. It is time for another contest. I would like for someone to do some research and tell me if giving myself "tiger stripes" is an unhealthy thing to be able to do. Also, I will award a single point to the person that gives the best made up diagnosis, and a single point to the first person that does the research and tells me the actual condition.

Points

I am awarding points from Villian post.
Aimee- Two points
Annie- Two points- Mostly because you made me laugh with "skinny smackdown" (nearly offensive)
Bud- One point for giving me a signature move that caused me to laugh at when I read it.
Jace- Two points for "Robhurt Gore-ly" and a mass of names (I awarded points although some will argue that i only asked for one name and didn't know that they could do more than one) (not my problem)
Heather- Two points

My ruling is final, and I will not appreciate gripes about the points awarded.

RAMPAGE

So I bought a car that is pretty old, and it has had quite a few problems as a consequence of the many years it has been alive. These are not problems for most people, they are minor, but they are annoyances to me, and I have declared a war on the problems on my car. I have fixed many things already, and still have many to go.

I recently decided that it is very rewarding for me when I fix things, and I have had some spill over from my car. My parents had a four wheeler that was in a bit of disrepair. It was missing a fender, and a few other things had some problems. I was determined to fix it with my very limited knowledge and the extensive resource of friend and family knowledge. It took a few hours and taking the carburetor out more than five times, but it is running. I tell this story for praise, so feel free to praise me for repairing things.

VILLAINS

I was watching a movie tonight and became aware of something that I have been overlooking for many years. In my youth I watched many Disney movies, many of them with my little sister Laura. We would often find the movies terrifying and would cover our eyes and ears to shield our frightened selves from the horrors on screen. Typically I would be the one that was unfortunate enough to be the one that had to check to see that it was safe to glue our eyes back to the TV. There are two movies in particular that I can remember being scared of.

1: The Lion King
"The Lion King" is a charming tale with a horribly terrifying villain, Scar. Scar alone is enough to keep children scared out of their senses, but he required some terrifying sidekicks, the gang of hyenas. The three main hyenas were not scary, but when Scar is singing (demonic chanting is probably more accurate) in the cave that has green flames shooting up all around the outstanding mass of them is somewhat overwhelming for a sheltered child as myself.
Then we have the scene with Mufasa when he is killed. The scene is quite vivid in my mind when he is tossed back and does a bit of flailing as he falls to his death concealed by dust from the stampede. When Scar is finished off it is a bit different, but it has the same general idea. Simba pushes him off the edge, and he does a bit of a flail of the legs as he looks back at the ledge and the prevailing Simba. My memory is a bit hazy but I believe that he is concealed by some sort of fog. (correct me if I am wrong)

2: The Great Mouse Detective
I will just say that the bat is the worst in the first 5 minutes. It is the only time of the movie when the bat isn't a goof and messing everything up. We couldn't watch the scene when the mouse father/inventor is taken captive.
Ratigan. What else do I have to say? He is always a creep, but at the end when he goes into a spiraling manic rage could scare anyone. I argue that it is certainly top 5 terror leveled Disney villain fights. And what happens at the end once again? He falls from a high place to certain death concealed by fog.


This brings me to my point. I don't want to be a villain. They are always pushed off high things into fog, or dust [either case is less than desirable]. However, being pushed from a high object is not limited to villains as we see in "The Great Mouse Detective" when Basil of Baker Street is pushed off with Ratigan. I think we can all avoid being killed by not fighting around the edge of a large cliff, Big Ben, or any other large cliff like places.

I will award a single point for the person that comes up with the best villain name for me. Offensive names will be a deduction, while a name that is incredibly witty can perhaps gain two points.

NEW CAR

I got a new car. That is all.

NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED

I was in England recently. Overall I had a good time, although I could have done without all the car and airplane time that was involved with the trip. By now most of the people that read my blog often will know the bad news about my camera. It is lost. It is still possible to recover it, but I have lost nearly all hope of ever seeing it again.

I thought that I took some really cool pictures, I thought they were good even if others wouldn't agree. I left nearly all of them on my camera so that it would be easier to mobilize them than on a computer. My logic was that if I left the photos on my camera it would be much more of an instant way to show anyone that requested to see them. This was a mistake.

The events that led to my losing possession of my camera happened like this.....

I was staying in a hotel that was about 10 miles from a small village in England. Now this village was over 100 miles away from London. Being from the United States, my family and myself were very used to driving on the right side of the road, but this is not how the English do their driving. Neadless to say, we were disorientated a bit by the change of driving methods, and as such, we found that is was much harder to navigate the roads and intersections. The roads are much more narrow there, and the traffic moves in a vastly different manner than we were used to.

Now, it is very common knowledge that London is a very large city, and therefore, can be expected to have the traffic problems that accompany a plethora of cars on the road. Understanding that the traffic and roads would be difficult for my family to travel about, we opted to take the train from Peterborough to the King's Cross Station in London. This worked like a charm as they say, and decided to do it twice. The second time we went to London I had my camera around my neck the whole day. I took over 100 photos that day, and was constantly looking around at things that I could take photographs of, and thinking about photography nearly 11 hours or so.

So at the end of our adventureous day my parents and sister were waiting for the first train that was available for us. I learned my lesson from the 3 previous train journeys, they are boring. Being wise as I often am, I snatched a "free" newspaper from the street newspaper guy to cure my boredom. I believe that I am fairly notorious for having a sweet tooth, and have even been called "candy boy" by some. I needed one more thing for the train ride, and went to the store with my lil sis to get some candy or a drink [and got both].

We had a swell time on the train reading about the English celeberities, and the sports stars, and movie reviews, et cetera. Wearing a camera around your neck takes a toll after an extended amount of hours, and it began to rub my neck raw and red. As I sat on the train with the strap around my neck I thought it silly to keep it around my neck as I sat there not moving, and removed the strap. I set my camera between my sister and myself on the seat. We read the papers, and ate the candy and drank our soft drinks. When we arrived at the station we were informed that we were at the end of the line, and that all passengers must exit. I had some rubbish to put in the bin, and some souvenirs as well, so I made sure to get them all to the places they needed to go. I even picked up a paper that was left behind by another passenger to help the cleaning crew out with thier job.

I was walking to the car thinking about how I wouln't really want to clean a train, and about the various coins that I had collected for a friend that wanted them. I got into the car and we started to leave the station. We drove for a few minutes when I thought that I would like to look at the pictures that I had taken earlier that day, and that is when it hit me that I had lost my camera. We then turned back to go retreive the lost camera. The search never made it to the train. I thought that the cleaners would surely turn in a camera, but I was mistaken (at least as far as we can tell).

I have just presented evidence that shows that you shouldn't clean up your own trash, and especially the trash of others. This can only lead to losing your valuable possesions. In fact, I will argue that if you make extra trash you will probably have amazing windfalls and good fortune. Don't expect photos from me.

UK PART 2.0

Well, it is time for another short update. I am in what they call the "Lake District". Yesterday I climbed a hill and looked around at the town of Windermire, at least that is what I think I saw. Some of the things around here are quite enjoyable, but some things are worse. I suppose that anywhere you go you can find pretty cool things if you look hard enough, but it seems rather simple to find beautiful landscapes around the English and Scottish countryside. I will give you all what you want, fewer words and more photos. End part 2.

I AM IN THE UNITED KINGDOM

I am in the United Kingdom as some of you may know, and I have been very drowsy from the time change. I have been taking some photos that I hope you will enjoy. I don't really want to take time to make a detailed post at this time, but you can count some sort of recap of the trip when I get home. As a game for you, my reader, I will not be captioning these pictures as I usually do so that you can think whatever you want. I hope it is fun for you to have these photos unexplained.

MOVIES ARE REAL

Today, when I was at work something happened that was straight out of a movie script [so it would seem]. These are the events as they actually unfolded, possibly with some intentional exaggerations.

I was cleaning theatres, like I always do. I was thinking about how when I worked at the theatre in Cedar City I would get complaints about things all the time. It made me wonder if the customers in Salt Lake City would rather just go to a different theatre than complaining. I have digressed. I scooped the final pieces of popcorn and went out to the lobby. There was an employee that was pretty flustered, and was asking where the managers were in a tone that was quite unusual. He told me that a lady had fallen down and was unconscious. I realized then why his voice had a bit of a quiver in it, and dashed over to assess the situation. She was not unconscious. In fact she was very conscious. She was rocking herself in pain on the ground, holding her stomach. There was a man standing next to her with a terrified expression as he was talking to someone on the phone. I asked if he was calling an ambulence, and he gave a quick nod.

She started to rub her stomach in a motion that was almost like she was saying that she was hungry, but the look on her face was telling quite a different story. I just stood there in a bit of a stupor. I didn't know what I could possibly do to help her. I started to think about things that could be wrong with her. Maybe she ate bad popcorn, maybe she is having a baby, maybe she is just old and having some crazy spasms, maybe she is faking for attention. My mind began to wonder farther from anything that was possible. I was looking at the woman, but it was more looking thru her. I began to amuse myself with the silly things I found myself thinking of, and realized that I was looking at the woman with a grin on my face. I don't think anyone noticed it, but if they did I am sure they thought I was sick in the mind.

I then thougth about the other 4 theatres that I still had to clean. I was not going to possibly be any help to this woman that is not able to control her motions from all the intense pain. Just then, the theatre nearest the woman began to have a flow of people leaving. There was a man that walked over, but then in an intensely important tone said, "Look out, I'm a doctor." "I am not an emergency doctor, I deliver babies"

The doctor asked her some questions to see if she was having a heartattack. The lady calmed down quite a bit once there was a doctor there, and stopped rocking back and fourth on the gound. She told him that she thought she had bad diareha, but didnt' have to go when she was in the bathroom just a few minutes earlier. He told her that it could be spasms or cramps or possibly a kidney stone. Once again I started thinking about funny things, and her stomach rubbing started to make more sense. I chuckled, and had to turn away when she so openly talked about her diarhea to the doctor, although many other people had gathered by then.

There was enough going on that I thought I could slip away unnoticed. Just as I was about to walk away the paramedics began their ascent up the escalator. I was in the clear to leave, and left quickly.

HIGH SCORE

Check it.

I haven't been able to fall asleep very early for about a month or so, and have been playing games on my computer to try to make my life boring enough to sleep. I started playing this game that reminded me of a game I used to play as a child. The objective of the game is to trap these wondering dots, and to fill the rest of the area by making walls. It is quite a simple game to play, but it is hard to be the best. I am still not the best, but I feel good about my 3rd on this weeks high scores.

GIRL KRISSMAN

This will be boring to people that are not members of my family most likely, but it isn't for you. This is Girl Krissman at one day old. I hope you keep in mind that these photos are mine, and I don't want to get any of you for copyright infringement.

MOMMY

This is the best picture that I could find with me by my mom, and it will serve as a visual aid for later in my post. She loves to have fun, and what is more fun that celebrating obscure holidays with extravagant parties? I will propose that there is nothing better. Quite a few years ago now, I concluded that I would discard any option of the more popular holidays to have as my favorite. As a family we were already conducting interesting traditions on the holidays that were overlooked by most (i.e. Columbus Day with boats made from potatoes, and Groundhog day with "groundhog soup"), so I thought that it would be in my best interest to adopt Flag Day as my favorite.

Somehow it has almost become a second birthday for me. It is known as my special day, and there are some simple yet special things done for me such as cookies decorated as flags, or stars, and one year my sister Aimee actually broke into my room and decorated it with flags.

I think the best times to be with my mom are late at night when she is tired. She gets wild when she is tired. I could sit and tell stories about my mother's crazy antics late at night (9 pm), but I will spare her mostly from embarrasment that I might cause her by doing so.

I must have been really annoying to my mom almost always. I never remember having her tell any of her other children to go to bed like she did to me. Every night, or so it seemed, around 9 she would tell me to go to bed. At first I would just laugh. Then I realized that she would tell me to go to bed when she was tired. It was the tell-tale sign that she needed to go to bed. Eventually her nightly prodding for me to go to bed wore on me, and I picked her up and took her to her bed, tucked her in, and kissed her goodnight. She was still in her clothes that she had been gardening in that day, and the night sky was still the purple of a fading sunset.

She is early to bed and early to rise, so when she stays up later than ten or eleven at night she gets a little silly. There was a time were I was standing by Kylie in the kitchen of my house, talking with my family after some sort of party, maybe for Cinco De Mayo, maybe for my birthday. My mom was getting a bit silly, and interrupted the conversation by saying "I am going to bed." She then proceeded to walk as a robot in front of me. After she walked past me, she paused and twisted her torso while keeping her arms bent and hands flat like all robots do, and looked at Kylie for a second (If anyone remembers if she made a sound at Kylie, or remembers any details I have left out or remembered wrong, I would like it if you would comment about such details), unpaused and went to bed.

I feel like it is pretty safe to say that I have one of the best mom's ever. If there were some test that she could take about being a good mom, I am sure that she would be the one to set the high score. I love you mom.

ABUSE ME

I am a person that you should abuse. Mostly mentally, but sometimes physically. I have noticed that people make fun of me more than I perceive others getting made fun of. I have a face that says, "Please make fun of me." or maybe it just says, "If you make fun of me I can handle it." Whatever the case may be, it is interesting to me.

I have come up with some theories about why. Some are better than others, you can decide what you agree with. This will be a contest blog as well. The objective is to come up with your best theory and submit it via comment.

Theories



1- It is my eyes. My particular shade of blue is calming to people. As my eyes calm them, much like the hypnosis of Kaa from The Jungle Book, and as such they feel relaxed by me. This relaxed state is a misinterpretation of the truth, and they think that although they are strangers they are welcome to poke fun at me.

2- It is my smile.

I don't know about you, but I would make fun of someone with a smile like this. Don't get me wrong, this girl is adorable, but that is because she is a child. If an adult has a smile like this they are going to have people to deal with. Once again I believe that a smile can be calming, however, I also think that it could be possible to offend someone with a smile. Sometimes at work I do both as people trip on the stairs or escalator.

3-Freckles

This may be a bit more contrived, but I propose that my freckles are sending a message to people's sub conscious. Somehow the melanin spots on my face are conveying a message to joke with me. They don't tell them to destroy my feelings, just to give a quick mocking remark in passing. Freckles do this.

Conclusion-


I will not claim to have a neck that is comparable to this guys. The smile is there, the relaxing, yet a bit eerie. If my theories are correct I think that this man will be made fun of often. END>

DON'T KNOW

I don't know what to think about the results of my polls. I think there is something fishy going on.

27O MONTHS

I have noticed that there have been many updates on blogs about babies lately. I thought that I would update about Janet's baby who will be 270 months old next week. He has been busy since the last update.

I don't know what was said in the last update, so I will just tell you what little Robert can do. He can run. He runs really far sometimes, but is only average speed as far as I can tell. He can jump. He can talk in full sentences. His art is not getting better, in fact, it is getting worse and worse each day. He can jump. He can skip [but doesn't], and crawl. He can sleep sitting up in a chair. He can sleep at a desk for hours without a break. He can close his eyes and touch his fingers together with incredible accuracy. He can balance on one leg for many seconds. He can dodge punches. He is only in the 5th percentile in weight and the 51st percentile in height. He can snap his fingers, and wink. He can say his alphabet and count until he died from it. He wakes up so rarely in the night that it must be under 1% of nights.

He can point to things too.